Here Are Some Stories You Shared
LAURA FROM A NEW ZEALAND GIRLS-ONLY SCHOOL THAT HAS ALLOWED A BIOLOGICAL MALE TO BE A STUDENT AND ACCESS ANY TOILET IN THE SCHOOL
“As a student attending this girls’ college, I feel as though the school was pressured into making a rash decision about the whole thing. The school sought help from numerous organisations, such as human rights and a transgender organisation to be able to grant him access to the girl facilities.
I got told at school not to call him a “he” and that I should be addressing him as a her as that is the gender he identifies as.
Knowing full well that the student is still a guy I felt ashamed in a way. That is not the gender he identifies with biologically and I stated this several times to teachers.
The thing that irritates me the most is that the student had access to numerous toilets all well within the school, surely that would be enough, but obviously he needed to use the girls bathrooms.
I believe that he should only use the toilets that he biologically identifies with and from my understanding the school has washed over the fact that he is still a guy and is around a large amount of girls on a daily basis.
I feel as though he has used bully tactics to shame the school. He should of never started a petition or involved the media. He is the minority out of the whole school.
It should not be up to the school itself which bathrooms he uses, but what all the girls in the school feel comfortable with.
Male teachers are never allowed to use the girls bathrooms, not even walk through them to the other side. Just because a guy dresses in a girls uniform and wants to be classified as a girl doesn’t mean that he should be granted the right to do so.
Why he was so desperate to use the girls bathrooms leaves me with concerns. He had many gender neutral toilets to use, you’d think one toilet would be enough for anyone.
Why didn’t they ask me first?
(Laura’s story is told HERE )
AND FROM A PARENT AT THE SAME SCHOOL
“..Not all girls are comfortable with a male who identifies as female using the toilets.
My daughter will not use the toilets if she thinks (the transgender student) is anywhere near them. This is simply because she is only just learning to deal with having her period and the changes in her own body let alone be inclusive.
As a parent, I believe (the school) needs to be aware of all points of views, as often the loudest voices are heard but this doesn’t mean that everyone agrees with what is being said.
I expect my daughter will feel comfortable and safe in her school environment. I accept that this is an incredibly complex issue but I do worry that the needs of the less confident, quieter girls can sometimes be overlooked.
AND FROM ANOTHER PARENT AT THE SAME SCHOOL
“… I’d like you, the Board and the Ministry to understand there are a majority of girls who are incredibly uncomfortable with the idea however; it is not an easy task for them all to voice their opinions for fear of back lash. My daughter is one of the few who have been bold enough to make a public statement in support of keeping the toilets for girls only. She has received a lot of support as well as some ‘hate’ in comments on her post…
…(The transgender student) is physically a boy in girl’s clothing… None of the other boys from (the boys’ high school) would be allowed to enter the girl’s toilet.
A MUM IN AUCKLAND
“My children’s primary school has already been through this. A child in the year below my youngest started school as a girl but became considered a boy halfway through primary.
Even from Year 1 she was always known as Billy* rather than her given name. She/he dressed like a boy, hung around with the boys, acted like a boy.
All the kids knew that officially she was a girl, but wanted to be thought of as a boy. They all called her Billy and accepted the situation as it was.
Around Year 4 the parents engaged in discussion with the school around getting “her” more formally considered as a boy than a girl. Year 4 was the last time she participated in sport as a girl.
From Year 5 onwards she was on the roll as a boy and in sports competed against the boys, as a boy. Even in year 5, Billy was still wearing boys’ swimming trunks for swimming. The parents intend to do the hormone therapy.
The school has had some issues around toilets and it has been a problem; I’m not sure what the solution was. School camp was also an issue as it didn’t seem appropriate for her/ him to be in either the boys or the girls cabin. I think in the end the father went to camp and Billy slept in a separate tent with him.
* name changed to avoid identification
A SUCCESS STORY!
“Our 13 year old daughter came home from school today and said that as she left the bathroom there was a transgender boy in the girls’ bathroom putting on his makeup.
She felt really uncomfortable.
We were concerned about this and I contacted a member of the school board of trustees to ask what was the school’s policy on this. I also went to the Family First website to find some articles which cover the reasons why transgender students shouldn’t be in bathrooms opposite to their biological sex. The research I was able to access on the website and also their suggested ‘bathroom policy for schools’ was excellent. This was to help if we had to speak to the Principal about our concerns.
The response from the school was excellent. A transgender boy in the girls toilets isn’t acceptable to the school either and they were to follow this up with the transgender boy concerned. I don’t know if he actually ‘used’ the girls toilet but he was definitely in there putting on his makeup. Apparently the school has a unisex toilet which a transgender girl uses. So, boys in girls toilets and vice versa isn’t allowed.
I’m really pleased with this outcome.
GIRLS’ SPORTS JUST FOR GIRLS
“I currently coach the Girls 2nd XI soccer team at a local high school.
Earlier in the season we played another school whose starting line-up included a transgender student. This student was a lot bigger than our biggest girl, a lot stronger and a lot faster and put simply it just wasn’t fair.
The game finished with the result being 1-1. However our team had most of the ball and most of the attacking plays but any time our girls went forward they were out-muscled any time they chased a ball; they were out-paced, all by this one player. At other points of the game my girls were scared to tackle this player as they might get hurt.
At this level of football, not many players have football skills, some do but most of the girls are relying on their natural abilities – fitness, speed and strength. Then when you take into account the fact that male and female bodies and physical abilities are noticeably different when you get to high school – this was never a fair contest.
It left our girls angry at the transgender student, upset, deflated and all the rest of it (I’m sure you can imagine the dramatic flair added by the high school girls).
Yes it is a high school 2nd XI team and not the Olympics but surely a line can be drawn where girls’ sports are just for girls.
Ask Me First is a project of Family First NZ
